Naruto: The Crack Chronicles
by YuzukiSakura1994
Summary: A complete compilation of the dumbest situations that ever could happen to the Naruto cast.


Hi minna-san! We're back with another dumb fic! Read on~!!

Disclaimer: Crackiness is ours, all others are Masashi's. Sad eh?

----

As unbelievable as it seemed, the Godaime Hokage, Tsunade, was assigning rookie 12 and their teachers, along with the sand siblings, to a relaxed mission. Calling it a 'relaxed mission' would be an understatement. It was practically a VACATION!

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chan. Why did Tsunade-baa-chan send us on this boring mission?' Naruto asked, looking vaguely annoyed. What kind of mission is this, 'Spend the entire day at the fire country's most popular beach and don't wreck havoc while there?'

Sakura gave an exasperated sigh at her teammate's usual idiocy. Couldn't that idiot even distinguish between a mission and a vacation? This wasn't a 'boring mission', in fact, Tsunade pitied the 'hardworking' genins and gave them a vacation disguised as a mission instead. Sakura didn't know how to reply him.

" Ususai, usuratonkachi." Sasuke answered instead, Uchiha style.

Naruto put his hands behind his head and turned away from the Uchiha, still walking. "Humph. Teme loves the beach, huh?" He replied cockily.

Sasuke stared at his teammate. "Speak for yourself."

At that, everyone turned to look at the blond. They gawked. They gasped. They giggled. The reason? Naruto was in his trunks, carrying sand sculpting equipment, snorkels, and water polo balls.

Said genin, being as thick-skulled as he was, asked the dumbest question he could ever have asked. " What? Why is everyone staring at me like that?"

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Ok…visited the daimyo and his wife, check. Told them whatever that needs to be told…check. Booked and inn and unpacked our stuffs, check." Kurenai said, ticking off various items on her checklist as she went along. Then she turned to the rest of the genins, giving them a smile. " Alright, everything's set. The rest of the day will be spent here, at Hi no Kuni's best and specially reserved beach for VIPS only."

" YOSH! NOW LETS GO TO THE BEACH!" Maito Gai screamed, pumping his fists into the air and dashing towards the beach in all his youthful glory.

" YOSH! GAI-SENSEI! I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" Mini Gai…. err sorry, Rock Lee yelled back in reply, copying his sensei's ridiculous actions.

" GAI-SENSEI!"

" LEE!"

" GAI-SENSEI!"

" LEE!"

And the two stopped to hug in front of an imaginary sunset, complete with waves cresting over the two of them. Kurenai blinked. She had always wondered how they managed to do that without invoking a genjutsu beforehand.

" Okay you two. That's enough." Neji said as expressionlessly as ever as the group of shinobis walked past him. He was, however, looking a little too tense for a Hyuuga and looked embarrassed, his eye twitching. Who wouldn't? Tenten, on the other hand, had her face buried under her hands.

The rest of the group continued as usual as they made their way towards the beach, not the least bit surprised anymore, each having been exposed to this scene more than two times already. Kakashi, the one who was the most exposed to the particular scene, wasn't paying much attention to the group at all, being engrossed in his 'icha-icha paradise'.

Naruto and Sasuke, were as usual, bickering with Ino and Sakura 'discreetly' trailing behind the Uchiha. Naruto as well, had someone trailing behind him- the shy and quiet Hinata, who was blushing furiously and twiddling her thumbs as she went. Her teammates, Shino…well, was just walking slightly behind her…_Shino-ishly_, and Kiba and Akamaru were bounding ahead, eager to get to the beach.

Gai and Lee were busy crapping about the flames of youth, spandexes and eternal rivals. Neji was walking behind his sensei and teammate, trying to look as emo as he usually was without actually puking at his team's undignified antics. Tenten on the other hand, looked as though she wanted to bury her head under the ground somewhere. Hopefully she could do so once they arrived at the beach. There was lots of sand over there. Meanwhile, Shikamaru had Temari in his Kage Mane to prevent her from murdering her younger brother, Kankuro. Said younger brother was busying himself, hiding his _younger_ brother, Gaara. Chouji was talking to a nodding off Asuma about barbeques and Kurenai was adding and checking off things on her list, being the perfectionist she is.

In this awkward fashion, the entire Naruto cast made their way to the beach.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" YATTA!" Naruto, Kiba, Lee and Gai screamed once the stepped foot into the beach. It was as lovely as Kurenai had described. The sand was soft and white. The sky was blue. The sun was out and shining brightly. The weather was as good as any S ranked mission, that is, to Naruto. The sea was calming and smooth. And of course, the shinobis (excluding the ones with brains) were all hyped out and ready to scream.

Naruto began going hyper and dashed around the whole place. Kiba and Akamaru followed suit immediately, with Lee close behind them. Kurenai sighed as the rest of the genins set out setting up the umbrellas and beach mats. At least those three were out of the way. In a few seconds, the unpacking was done.

" Neji, go catch Lee before he digs up a ditch." Kurenai ordered.

Not wanting to disobey a jonin sensei, and one as logical and cool minded as her (_so_ unlike the one he had), Neji nodded and got to his feet. " Let's go, Tenten." And Tenten, his faithful dog- err sorry, _teammate_, followed.

Once they were at a considerable distance from the campsite, Neji decided that walking on the hot sand barefooted was making his delicate feet sore and hot and that it was, well, waaaay beyond him to do such a thing, so he decided to walk above the sand. Like how you would do to water. Unfortunately, such a thing was not meant to be, so when he applied chakra to his feet, the sand beneath it compressed and molded with the water underneath, turning whatever Neji, and Tenten, was standing on into quicksand.

" NEJI!" Tenten screamed once she found her feet were glued to the ground and unable to move. Hearing his teammate's cry, Lee appeared suddenly, zooming up beside Tenten, only to find himself in the same situation as his two other teammates.

" Well, okay. That didn't work. Don't panic, let's try this." Neji applied chakra to his feet again and this time, he sank lower, with Lee and Tenten who were caught in this entire mess with him, to sink as well. Neji didn't stop there, and applied more and more chakra until all three of team Gai were up to the neck in quicksand.

"…Urm…oops?" Neji looked slightly abashed. Tenten shot dirty glares at him. Lee was babbling about how he was going to save everyone with the flames of his youth.

Kurenai slapped her forehead with her clipboard and sighed. This was going to be a _looooong_ day.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Team Seven were out in open sea, Naruto and Sasuke were standing on top of the water while Sakura was floating along side them, or rather, along side Sasuke, not knowing how to walk on water yet.

" Ne, Sakura-chan, why are you getting yourself wet? I mean, it's so troublesome." Naruto 'thoughtfully' asked. He gestured to his feet. " Look at this! It's much more convenient, right?"

Sakura rolled her eyes at her blond teammate. Not wanting to reveal the truth about not knowing how to walk on water without her sandals on and for extended periods of time due to insufficient chakra of hers and in front of her beloved Sasuke-kun to boot, she stated the second most obvious thing instead. " Mo, Naruto you baka! It's exercise! Training!"

Naruto's face brightened at that. " Training?" He asked eagerly. So with that, he sank into the water. If it was training, then he'll do anything for it! " Ne! Sasuke-teme! Want to join in?" Naruto obliviously asked.

" Fat hope, usuratonkachi." Sasuke emoishly said. On the other side however, '_Inner-Sasuke'_ shuddered at the thought of ruining his precious, well-gelled hairstyle.

Naruto pouted at his teammate's…anti-social-ness, then grinned and dived into the deep blue water. The next thing Sasuke knew, Naruto had his hands tightly clamped on the Uchiha's ankles, and was roughly dragging him down.

Before his head submerged, however, Sasuke let out a choked scream, the best he could manage at those circumstances. " M-MY HAIR!!!" The Uchiha lamented. In a fit of rage, he kicked himself free and this time, dragged _Naruto_ up to the surface. In no time, he had Naruto held in a death lock. " YOU! YOU DESTROYED MY HAIR! I WILL RIP YOURS OUT AND SCATTER THEM IN THE MEDDETTERAINIAN SEA!!!" Sasuke laughed, sharingan spinning just to scare the crap out of his 'beloved' teammate, half crazed.

Not to be outdone, Naruto somehow got himself out of his ballistic teammate's grip and started shaking and choking Sasuke instead. That eventually led the boys into a choking match, whereby they both tried their best to choke the other to his death.

…Not noticing that they had accidentally knocked Sakura unconscious as they did. A pink blob slowly sank out of sight and _no one_ noticed.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Ike, Akamaru! Yosha!" Kiba yelled happily. Akamaru bounded up to his master, the ball he had retrieved in his mouth.

Team eight was the only team farthest away from the sea amongst the other teams, choosing to stay underneath the shade of the cooling palm trees, and they were quite happy about it. Shino was being overly morbid as usual, leaning against a tree trunk and careful not to get himself too warm, lest he'd accidentally roast his bugs, and Hinata was hiding behind a nearby palm tree, trying to blend into the background unsuccessfully.

Kiba, the only one in his team who was actually under the glorious sun, threw his ball with a little too much force and it went flying…twenty meters away, landing with a splash in the sea. Where no one dared or rather, _wanted_ to get it. Oops.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Fan me, you lazy bums." Ino said 'graciously' as she lay down on her silky purple mat in her designer purple swimsuit, and drinking the most refreshing purple mangosteen juice.

Chouji, who was sitting on what he and Shikamaru and dubbed the 'Ino Fanning Device', simply stepped on a paddle which was linked to a large purple palm leaf, which flapped with each step he took, as he stuffed his face on coconuts, not without the purple umbrellas sticking out of them.

Shikamaru, who was sitting on a similar device, sighed, muttered a 'troublesome' under his breath, and started doing the same as Chouji, albeit without that much gusto. He lazily looked up. He was glad that the clouds weren't somehow dyed purple too, or else he'd cry. Oh, and did he mention that somehow or another, Ino had managed to force her teammates into wearing purple swimming trunks, complete with purple earrings? Amazing, right? After all, the whole of team ten had ear piercings.

" Shika, Chou! Flap those things harder, will you?" Ino demanded impatiently. She flipped back her blonde hair and started sloshing her perfectly cropped nails with purple nail polish. " After all, my precious Sasuke-kun is here. I can't afford him to see me all sweaty and stinky, right?"

' _Arrgh! This situation is sooo troublesome._' Shikamaru sighed as he added a bit more force into his paddling. An idea suddenly struck the genius. " Temari! Lend me your fan for awhile- this troublesome woman needs it."

A moment later, a big, oversized iron fan landed with a hard thump at his feet. Shikamaru hefted it up, opening it and realized that it was completely made up of metal and thus, was very heavy. He struggled to bring it above his shoulders. _' What it hell is that woman thinking, carrying something as idiotic as this all the time…?_'

"…Shikamaru? Are you sure you can manage this?" Chouji asked.

"…Y-yeah. Probably." Shikamaru replied, staggering under the weight of that metal _thing_. " Okay, here goes." He lifted the fan up.

"…Hey! Why did you suddenly stop? I'm starting to form sweat droplets already, and-" Ino broke off as a large shadow loomed over her. "S-Shikamaru? What are you do-"

The iron fan crashed down on her head with a sickening crunch. Shikamaru had, apparently, misjudged the length. She immediately fell into blissful purplish oblivion.

"…Urm…oops?" Shikamaru stared at her body as he placed the fan down onto the sand.

" …Shikamaru, I think you killed her." Chouji said as he opened a pack of chips and started munching on them.

" Nonsense. She's too thick-skulled to be killed by that." Shikamaru snorted as he took his horrible earrings out and buried them underneath the sand. " Besides, I like her much more this way. More quiet. Less troublesome." He shrugged.

" Hmm…you're right." Chouji agreed. He held out his pack of chips. " Want one?"

" Okay. Thanks." Shikamaru agreed. They sat on the soft sand like that for a while, watching the puffy clouds overhead.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

With the Sand siblings, things were as usual, going…Umm… not too well. Kankuro was having a rather 'casual' brother-sister chat with his dearest elder sister, Temari. Their younger brother and also their Kazekage, stood ready at the sidelines, applying chakra into the sand below him.

" Kankuro, you ninny! Look at what you did to our precious castle!"

" I'm innocent! I was just putting on my face paint when-"

" You mean 'make up', you idiot."

" IT'S NOT MAKE UP! IT'S FACE PAINT!"

"Yeah right. Face paint. Like we don't know you get those from Anna Sui's catalogues."

With that, they started violently punching each other, only to be broken apart immediately after by Gaara's sand. Then, the two siblings started clawing at the sand barrier, hoping to make a hole and punch human flesh. Gaara sighed at his siblings' childishness.

"_Temari! Lend me your fan for awhile- this troublesome woman needs it_." Came a lazy yet unmistakable drawl-yell from behind them, not too far away.

Temari paused in her actions and tossed her large iron fan across to wherever the voice came from and then resumed what she was previously doing- clawing her way towards Kankuro.

She could hear snickering from behind the barrier. " What's that I see? Is he your _boyfriend_, big sister?"

She flushed. " Kankuro, why don't you mind your own business with other people and go to one corner to play with your dolls." She said, sounding very, _very_, annoyed.

Now it was Kankuro's turn to flush. " Karasu is NOT a doll! He's a _puppet_!" Kankuro yelled. Then he paused for a moment. " AND I DO NOT PLAY WITH DOLLS!"

At that moment, they managed to somehow bypass the sand shield and with triumphant yells, resumed their punching match.

" Time out." Gaara drawled, wondering how annoyed his siblings must have been with each other to be able to _claw_ their way to the other side. Literally. He manipulated the sand again, only this time, wrapped it tightly around each of them, to prevent their limbs from moving.

That however, did not stop them from spitting at each other's faces.

So much for a casual conversation between siblings.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Neji was in a fix. And never before did the Hyuuga's prized technique fail to get him out of sticky situations like these. Thus…

" Okay." He told himself. " If jyuuken doesn't work, then let's try this- KAITEN!"

With that, Hyuuga Neji drilled himself _deeper_ into the sand, with Tenten and Lee, his faithful teammates, following him. They had sunk for about ten meters underground before Neji had the sense to stop the heavenly spin.

Neji wasn't about to give up just yet, though. Hyuuga's moves _always_ works! "JYUUKEN!" He cried, petting the walls of the recently dug pit. A horde of sand from above fell over them with a thump.

" NEJI! _Stoooop_!" Tenten screamed. " Are you trying to bury us alive or something?!" She bemoaned.

Lee, on the other hand, was adding to the water content of the pit, by crying dramatically, saying stupid stuff about youth strength and the flames or flowers of youth. That just made the sand wetter and stickier than before. Oh well.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

"Oei, Naruto! Can you get that ball for me?" Kiba yelled from the other side of the beach. Team seven was, after all, the only team in the middle of the sea.

Naruto turned and grabbed a hunk of pink stuff, pulling it up, revealing Sakura's face. " This one?" He yelled.

Kiba didn't know what to make do of it. " No." He finally yelled back.

Naruto then unhesitatingly dropped his teammate's head, making it fall back into the waters below with a splash. The then turned around, looking for another object that was floating beside him. He grabbed a hunk of black hair, which turned out to be a KO-ed Sasuke's. No one knew how Naruto had managed to win the choking match against the Uchiha." This one?" He yelled.

" …No." Kiba said, trying to hold a straight face.

Naruto shrugged and dunked Sasuke's head back into the sea just as the Uchiha was about to regain consciousness. He fussed around for a bit more before picking up a red ball. " This one?"

Kiba brightened. " Yeah, that's the one! Throw it over!"

" Righto!" Naruto nodded eagerly. His hands formed into a very familiar seal…

Kiba blanched. " No! Nononononononono! NOT THAT!"

Naruto had already started. " Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! U! ZU! MA! KI!… "

" YAMETE, NARUTO NO _BAKAAAAA_!"

" Naruto RENDAN!"

The ball deflated on Naruto's fist. The blond looked at it quizzically. He then looked up and gave Kiba a sheepish grin, accompanied with an awkward laugh.

Kiba slapped his forehead. " _NAAAAARUUUUUTOOOO_!" He roared.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Temari, Gaara and Kankuro were busy building a…SANDCASTLE! It was a real BIG castle, with its inhabitants being Kankurou's puppets. The siblings were very pleased with it. Until…

" Heads up, guys! Fan coming through!" Drifted a lazy yell.

The sand siblings gave a yell of shock and horror as Temari's iron fan landed smack on the castle's tallest tower, causing the entire castle to crumble. _Right in front of their faces_.

Gaara was the quickest to react. He towered over Shikamaru in an instant, since he practically _flashed_ there, wearing a _very_ black face. " You…you imbecile, you…_**you destroyed my sandcastle**_." He said in his super creepy shukaku voice. Sand at once began to encase Shikamaru.

" Gaara, relax!" Temari yelled out to her younger brother as she and Kankuro made their way there. She headed straight towards the great ball of sand and began with the wishy-washy whatnot. An hour later, when Gaara finally released the shadow boy, Temari grabbed him, only to be greeted by a loud and rude snore. Her face grew red; with both embarrassment and anger.

Kankuro, who had managed to build another castle by then, damaged it by rolling around and crashing into its walls. He was soon stopped, however, by Temari's fan bashing into his made up, sorry, painted face.

So much for the castle.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

It was soon mid-afternoon already and the jonins were _still_ lazing around. Kakashi was, as usual, having his face stuck in his ever-present icha-icha paradise book. Kurenai and Asuma were chatting about something vague, while Gai…wait. Where was he?

" YOSH! WHERE ARE MY PRECIOUS, LOVELY, YOUTHFUL STUDENTS?" He cried, prowling around the entire beach, searching for his beloved team.

In the span whereby we were observing the Sand Siblings, Kiba, Naruto and Shikamaru, Neji had managed to cover his teammates and himself, ENTIRELY with sand, including filling up the pit to the brim. Team Gai was thus twelve meters underground, invisible and clearly undetectable; least team eight had decided to help. And Gai was currently standing on top of them.

Lee, whom had heard Gai's voice (who wouldn't?) busted out if the sand and they had a very dramatic and emotional reunion. Neji and Tenten were, however, not amused one bit. At all.

" LEE! IF YOU COULD DO THAT ALL ALONG, THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU?!" They screamed in unison.

Gai gasped dramatically. " Oh my gawd! My youthful, kawaii students, Neji and Tenten! Whatever happened to them- they're trapped in the sand!" He cried, stating the obvious. Neji and Tenten twitched. _Kawaii?_ Gai turned to his favorite student. " We must save them, Lee!"

" Gai-sensei!"

" Lee!"

" Gai-sensei!"

" Leeeee!"

" Gaaaai-senseeeiiiii!"

" Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

And they hugged in front of an imaginary sunset, blah, blah, blah. Gai and Lee's tears were filling up the pit, and the water was now all the way up to Neji and Tenten's chests.

" GAI-SENSEI! LEE! ENOUGH OF THAT CRAP ALREADY! GET US OUT, WON'T YA?!" screamed an extremely frustrated Neji and Tenten.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Oei, Kaka-sensei! Hurry up and come! Kurenai-sensei says that we're all supposed to by playing water polo now!"

" Hm?" Kakashi absently asked as he looked up from his book to see his student, Sakura (who had somehow miraculously managed to surface to shore.) waving impatiently at him to come. In the background, Sasuke was manically yanking at Naruto's hair, kunai in hand and shining brightly under the sunlight, out to get his revenge. Kakashi silently sighed at his team's antics.

" Kakashi, go play with your students once in awhile! Our teams are all playing too!" Kurenai chided him. Kakashi ignored her. " You-" Kurenai bent down and gave his book a violent tug, removing it from his hands. She slammed it over his head, hard, and then swiftly threw it into the sea.

" Arrgh, my book!" Kakashi wailed and chased after it. Kurenai smirked as she and Asuma strolled leisurely after him, calling their students as they went.

" Ino! Shika! Chou! Come and play!" Asuma called.

" Nah. Too troublesome." Came the immediate reply from the two boys. Asuma sighed. Kurenai tried next.

" Hinata, Kiba, Shino! Come over, you guys will be playing too!" She called.

" No." Shino said. " I don't do water." His team looked at him curiously. " My bugs will get soggy and wet." He explained to them.

" If Shino won't take part, then I won't either!" Kiba happily announced. " Akamaru definitely won't be going in, and I'll smell when I get in too."

After hearing both her teammates' refusal, Hinata decided that she did not want to play too. " Ano…gomenasai, sensei, but I can't really swim well, you see, so…" she fidgeted. She was never good at lying. Kurenai sighed. Even her team too…?

" Hey, why do they don't have to swim and we do?" Shikamaru and Chouji whined.

" Well, whether you like it or not, my team's taking part in this too!" Kurenai yelled back, her competitive streak getting the best of her.

" NO!" Her team wailed after hearing that sentence." NAZE?"

" Because," Kurenai whispered fiercely, her red eyes glinting dangerously. " I organized the game, and if my team doesn't take part in it, then it'll be a great blow on my pride…"

She smirked. " Shino doesn't have to play, but Kiba and Hinata, your excuses aren't valid enough." She flipped her hair back and pointed dramatically into the distance. " Now go, my team! Show them that Team Eight is still at the top of the food chain! We will mop the floor!"

Kiba and Hinata looked at each other and sighed sadly.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Meanwhile, Asuma too, was motivating his team. Boy, these jonins were competitive. " Today, we will show everyone that NO ONE can compete with the Ino-Shika-Chou formation, even in a simple game like- like- like water polo!" Asuma screamed dramatically.

" That formation wouldn't work in a water polo game." Shikamaru pointed out. " And besides, you jonins are supposed to split us into two groups. There's no chance that all three of us will be in the same team."

" Yeah, but you must play!" Asuma wailed. " I bet fifty bucks with Kakashi that all three of you will be playing." He cried. " This is your sensei begging you, so you'll all do it for me, right? _Riiiight_? Shikamaru? Ino? _Choujiiiii_?"

No one paid the least bit of attention to him. Shikamaru yawned. Ino started fussing around for her sun block. Chouji was in the middle of gobbling down his coconut.

" You guys…" Asuma twitched. " …Are _horrible_."

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

No one could beat Gai when it comes to pure, 'simple', motivation.

" My lovely, bright, beautiful, and youthful students! We, team Gai, will show the other puny Genins the strength of your youthfulness as our flames burn brightly inside of us! Saa, let us now head towards the beach and give my eternal rival, Kakashi, the walloping he fully deserves! "

" Hai, Gai-sensei! You have given me more important, youthful advice!" Lee cried as he somehow managed to whip out his green notebook and scribbled something on it.

" That was hardly any good advice worth listening to." Neji muttered. " Those clowns."

" Oei, are you guys listening to me?" Tenten yelled. " If you want us to play, then you'll have to get us out of this freaking hole first!"

Gai and Lee blinked. " Tenten, Neji! What are you guys doing in a hole? How un-youthful of you to be doing that!" Gai cried out in astonishment.

Neji and Tenten groaned.

" But never fear!" Gai continued. " Your great, selfless sensei here will dig you out!"

With that, the two green beasts started barrowing into the earth, scooping sand out of the ground rapidly…and tossing them onto Neji and Tenten's faces. If the two could yell they definitely would.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Over to Team Seven. Kakashi, being the lazy idiot he was, had resolved to bribery instead. And he was doing a very good job out of it.

" Naruto, if you play, I'll treat you free ramen at Ichiraku's."

" Yosha! Don't worry, Kaka-sensei, I WILL play, and _WIN_! And eat all the ramen you can buy!" Naruto shouted.

" …yes, very good. Sasuke, cooperate with Naruto, and I'll teach you a technique that will help you kill Itachi."

" …You said it yourself. I'm playing." Sasuke smirked. Yes! Finally!

" Sakura, cooperate with Naruto and stop fawning over Sasuke while you're at it, I'll let Sasuke go on a date with you."

" Alright! You can count on that, Kaka-sensei!" Sakura yelled with glee.

" Kakashi! I didn't agree!" Sasuke cried, horrified.

" I'm your sensei, I totally approve." Kakashi said offhandedly, taking out a plastic fold and started wrapping is beloved 'Icha-Icha paradise' book with it.

Sasuke's mind was whirling rapidly." Date with Sakura…Kill Itachi…" He muttered to himself. " No date with Sakura…don't get to kill Itachi…ARRRGH!" He clutched his head. Naruto was laughing at Sasuke's dilemma, at the same time, trying to convince Kakashi that he was more eligible for a date with Sakura than Sasuke was.

Team Seven all decided to decide for the Uchiha by firmly lifting him off the sand and tossing him into the big blue sea.

" MY HAIR!" came a muffled cry before it was wiped out by a loud splash.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Temari, Kankuro, you are to go and represent us in this tournament." Gaara drawled.

" What? Why?" Temari asked. " I know you know how to play water polo."

" …_Because_, I don't do water either. It will wet my sand. And I don't _like_ wet sand." Gaara said carefully." And I will not run around in the water looking like a fool." He added as an afterthought.

" …And you expect _us_ to run in the water looking like fools?" Temari said disbelievingly.

" Of course. Better you than me." Gaara said.

" Well, _excuse me,_ but I must decline." Temari snorted. She drew herself up to full height. " As your _bigger sister_, I _insist_ that you'll come play with us too, Gaara. A bit of tan and exercise can do wonders to your body. You're getting _**fat**_."

There was a long, silent pause. Kankuro gasped as Gaara straightened out at Temari's words. His bigger sister really _had_ a death wish. He on the other hand, didn't want to play either. It would only smudge up his makeup, oh, oops, face paint.

"…Temari, Kankuro, just go. I'll be cheating if I play anyways." Gaara said finally. Saying so, he used his sand to pick them up and tossed them towards the sea. Hearing Kankuro's shriek about his make-up (*ahem*_face paint_) a moment later told him that his siblings had landed safely in the water.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" H-H-Hinata?" Naruto stuttered, not believing the sight in front of him. It was Hinata, wasn't it?

" H-Hai, Na-Naruto-kun?"

Yup, it was definitely Hinata. She was wearing a halter neck swimsuit and man, did it do her (*ahem* curves) justice. In other words, Naruto thought that Hinata was HOT. He had a dirty thought and immediately fainted, with blood trickling out from his nose.

" N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata gasped and hurried over towards the blonde.

Naruto regained consciousness a few seconds later, immediately jumped up, brushed himself down, and gave the Hyuuga girl a grin. " Hinata, you're very pretty. Yosh, let's go!" He yelled.

However, he wasn't able to get anywhere. Not with an unconscious Hinata around anyway.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Alright." Kurenai called the shinobis over for attention once they reached the designated spot for the game. " We will now divide you into groups of two. So, Gai, Kakashi, you may have the honor…"

Kakashi and Gai stood, side by side, and began shouting out names from a piece of paper. Kakashi was completely and totally left out of the whole thing as Gai's horribly loud voice drowned out his lazy one.

" YOSH! My first youthful member shall be…" Gai cried out, pausing dramatically. " …ROCK LEE!"

Everyone rolled their eyes. _What a big surprise…_

Lee proudly stood up, and started wailing. " I will do you proud, Gai-sensei, with the monstrous power of my youth! YOSH!" He yelled back through his tears. The two embraced in front of an imaginary sunset, dah…dah…dah, and it was Kakashi's turn to pick.

" Uchiha Sasuke."

Everyone rolled their eyes. _Wow, completely unexpected…_

" Hn." Sasuke said, smug that he'd been picked first (by someone sane- thus Gai's pick wasn't counted.) and sauntered over to his jonin sensei.

" YOSH! The next person will be…KIIIIIIIBAAAAA!"

" Hey, what about Akamaru?!"

"…_and_ Akamaru."

" Hell, I'm stuck with a madman." Kiba muttered as he and his dog slouched over to Gai's team.

" Uzumaki Naruto." Kakashi droned. He turned to Sasuke. " Remember your promise, Sasuke." He said. Naruto interrupted before Sasuke could even open his mouth to reply.

" YATTA!" He screamed and jumped around. " Sasuke-teme's on my side! I can torture him all I want now! YATTA!"

" You-" Sasuke glared, but suddenly remembered his deal with Kakashi and gritted his teeth shut. ' _Must kill Itachi…must kill Itachi…must kill Itachi…_' He thought furiously to himself, straining his body to its limits on not to snap and suffocate his teammate. To others, it looked as though the Uchiha was suffering from constipation.

" YOSH! TEEEEN….TEEEEEN!" Gai cried.

" H-hai…" Tenten sighed. She knew she was going to be called next anyways. With Gai being her Jonin instructor and all.

" …Huh? Is it my turn?" Kakashi peered up from his book and glanced at the batch of genins standing at the side, waiting to be called. He went back to his book. " Okay then. Hyuuga Neji."

"…I'm saved. It seems that fate is shining down upon me today." Neji smirked. Hooray! Gai-free! Tenten glared at him from the other side as he sauntered off to join Sasuke and Naruto.

" KAKASHIIII! THAT WAS A VERY UNYOUTHFUL THING TO DO! NEJI IS _MY_ ONE AND ONLY ADORABLE STUDENT! YOU DO NOT GO AROUND STEALING OTHER PEOPLE'S STUDENTS!!!" Gai shrieked. " For that, my eternal rival, I will thereby take one of _your_ students as exchange! _SAAAAKUUUUURAAAA_!" He hollered.

" HELL NO!" Sakura cried. " My beloved Sasuke-kun is waiting for my return to him on the other side…!"

" Your promise, Sakura." Kakashi reminded her.

" O-Okay…" Sakura sniffled, and went over to stand by a very smug looking Gai.

" MUAHAHAHAHA! Take that, my eternal rival! One of your precious student is in my hands now!" Gai cried triumphantly.

"…I don't really mind, actually." Kakashi muttered, before taking a glance at the register. " Hmm…. Nara Shikamaru."

" Arrrgh…Mendokusei na…"

Gai glared at his eternal rival, before squinting at the register long and hard. He will not be outdone! " Aha!" He cried, finding a person suitable to counter what Kakashi chose. " If you take Shikamaru, then I will take Shikamaru's only weakness!"

"… I have a weakness?" Shikamaru lazily raised an eyebrow in question.

" Yes you do!" Gai cried. " Your one and only weakness- CHOUJIIIIIII!"

"…" Everyone sweat dropped.

" …I'm not afraid of Chouji." Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes.

" Yes you are!" Gai cried. He turned to Chouji. " Oei, Chouji! What are you doing? Hurry up and come over here!"

"…Okay…" Chouji said.

" Can I pick now?" Kakashi said irritably.

Gai grinned back in reply, with his sparking teeth. " Go ahead! See if you can counter THAT!"

" …Hyuuga Hinata." Kakashi called.

" Ahh…hai…" She hurried over and blushed after realizing that Naruto was in her team.

" YOSH! Since there are only four left, how about we pick a combo pair, huh Kakashi?" Gai yelled, eyes lighting up with the names of the 'perfect pair'. " I CHOOSE KANKUROU AND TEMARIIIIIII!" He yelled, not even waiting for Kakashi's agreement.

" Damn!!" The brother and sister cried at the exact same time.

" Then that leaves my team with Asuma and Kurenai." Kakashi said, closing the register with a snap, immediately wiping of the bright smile on Gai's face and replacing it with a look of shock. " Ah well." He shrugged as Kurenai and Asuma quickly made their way over, thankful that Gai didn't pick them.

" OH NOOOO!" Gai cried, flabbergasted. " I completely forgot that our dearest colleagues are in the game toooooo!" He wailed and failed around for a moment.

" A-Anyways, we can start the game now." Kurenai sighed. All these crazy colleagues and students were really driving her nuts.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Kankuro! Catch it!"

" Huh? Catch what- OUUUUCH!" The red ball the shinobis were playing with slammed hard onto Kankuro's purple striped face, smudging whatever designs he has on it all up. Temari and Gaara (who wasn't playing but watching with his third eye all the same) simultaneously slapped their faces at their brother's behavior.

" You…are an utter disappointment to the sand." Gaara muttered darkly.

" Arrgh! My face is ruined now!" Kankuro wailed after picking himself up from the water.

" What are you saying?" Temari snarled. "Your bloody nose is still intact, so stop complaining and win this game already!" She yelled and marched over to throttle her younger brother.

" Oeeeei! Are you guys done yet? Hurry up and throw the freaking ball already!" The Konoha shinobis called impatiently.

" Shut up, you!" Temari cried, snatched the ball from Kankuro's hands, threw it and whacked it across the sea with her fan, baseball style. It soared straight over towards Shikamaru.

The genius, who had just woke up from his nap, panicked when he saw the ball flying over towards his direction. He acted instinctively. " Kage Nui!" The shadow thread popped the ball. Everyone stared at the little bite sized pieces of plastic that was once the ball that they had been playing with. " Oops." Shikamaru shrugged, not sounding like he actually meant it.

" Ha! Take that! That means we scored!" Temari cried.

" Technically speaking, I actually caught the ball with my shadow, so that means that you didn't." Shikamaru pointed out.

" But you didn't catch it with your body!" Sakura protested. " We score. Admit it."

" I caught the ball with _my_ shadow. That particular shadow is attached to my body, so it can also be counted." Shikamaru reasoned.

" You can't count it that way!" Tenten yelled.

" Who has an IQ of 200?" Shikamaru questioned.

" …You." Gai's team reluctantly admitted.

" So if I say it is part of my body then it is." Shikamaru concluded. All by himself.

Chouji blew up a new ball and hastily threw it. Both Gai and Lee immediately dove towards it, from their respective opposite ends. Having similar thoughts, as one, they leaped towards the flying ball…- " KONOHA SENPUU!" -…and hit each other in mid air, making a sickening crunch as they collided with each other.

The untouched ball fell into the water with a splash. Everyone gaped. Tenten rolled up her sleeves and marched over, strangling her teacher and teammate.

" YATTAAAAA! We scored!" Naruto yelled excitedly. No noise came from his team. He turned around. " Hey, hey, hey! We scored! C'mon, give me a five! FIVE!" He held up his palm.

Neji and Sasuke stared back at him emo-ishly. Shikamaru yawned. Hinata twiddled her thumbs, blushed, and looked away. Kakashi wasn't even paying attention. Asuma and Kurenai just stood, staring at him blankly as he stupidly stood there with his palm raised. The crickets chirped.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Sasuke sighed, fished the ball out of the sea and gave it a Sasuke-worthy kick.

" Ino, Sakura- it's heading your way! Catch that kick! Woah!!" Kiba yelled.

However, the two girls were staring at the graceful kick, replaying it in their mind in slow motion. What they saw was a ball, soaring gracefully towards them, with shiny, sparkly water droplets trailing behind it. Time reverted back to normal, and the super fast flaming ball hit Ino, winding her, before rebounding off and hitting Sakura square on her oversized forehead. Both she and the ball fell backwards into the sea.

" YATTA! WE SCORED AGAIN! We so rocked!" Naruto screamed. " That hit was awesome, Sasuke-teme! I love you!" Naruto started snuggling poor Sasuke who was caught off guard. The Uchiha started retching immediately.

…And no one noticed that a certain pink haired kunoichi have yet to surface.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Jyuujin Bunshin! GATSUUUUUGAAAAA!" The two twirling Kibas sent the ball flying straight towards Neji.

" N-Neji nii-san! The ball!" Hinata cried.

" Huh? What?" Neji swiveled around wildly and clumsily.

" The ball! Catch it!" Hinata repeated slowly, pointing at something in the sky. Trust the 'all seeing' Hyuuga not to have seen the flying ball.

Neji turned around only to see something flying his direction. " A bomb in the middle of the sea?!" He cried, obviously misunderstanding the situation. " It's no use! KAITEN!" Saying so, he started his twirl, and the ball ricocheted off the Kaiten, hitting Kiba on its way back. They flew a good distance away before gravity took place and dropped them into the sea.

" Hinata-sama! Are you alright?" Neji cried, rushing over towards his cousin. " But what is a bomb doing all the way out here?"

" N-Neji-nii-san, that was actually a _ball_, not a bomb." Hinata explained. " If it was, Kiba-kun should be exploding right now."

"…That's true." Neji said. " Dang, that was a big disappointment."

" YATTA! WE SCORED _AGAIN_!" Naruto cried, bouncing up towards the Hyuuga cousins. " NEJIII! You're my hero! Come, give me a hug!"

Neji gave him a death glare instead before Naruto could advance any further. " Hug me and I'll jyuuken you to Oto! I am not some fluffy, soft, huggly, bunny plushie thingy-"

" Okay, okay, I got it already!" Naruto sulked and went back to his original position, muttering under his breath about emo bastards.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Meanwhile, on the other side, Kiba surfaced and shook himself dry, like a wet rabid dog. He scuffled back to his team. " Oh, yeah, I found this." He told them, dropping a very wrinkled Sakura down. She sank and surprisingly did not float back up. " I think her brains might be a little too big for her skull or something. Totally and completely no air inside it _at all_. " Kiba muttered, taking out his jacket and started wringing it dry. " I thought she was a deformed kappa at first- got me all excited."

Hearing no reply, Kiba looked up, only to find that everyone, including his beloved dog Akamaru, had already backed a good ten feet away from him. " What?" He asked, confused.

" …You stink." Came the reply from his team.

" Kiba, go take a bath already!"

" Man, you smell like wet dog!"

Gloom marks appeared all over the Inuzuka. " Sonna…!" He wailed and hugged himself in an emo corner. An emo cloud drifted past to rain over him. Hinata walked over from the other team (with a hand clamped tight over her nose), and petted him consolingly.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Sensei! You're not doing anything!" Naruto cried, as he watched the three jonins. Kakashi was engrossed in reading his newly waterproofed icha-icha and simply passed the ball to the person who was standing beside him, Kurenai. Kurenai looked at it and handed it on the person _beside_ her, Asuma. Asuma gave a huge yawn and tossed it over to Shikamaru, who blinked and threw it to Sasuke, who sniffed and fling it over to Hinata, who gasped and lobbed it towards Neji, who fumbled around before pitching it sloppily towards Naruto. Naruto caught it and shrugged.

" Kage bunshin no Jutsu!" He cried and proceeded to kick the ball into the air. " U-ZU-MA-KI! NARUTO RENDAN!" The ball flew towards the opposing team. Temari immediately leapt forward and gave the ball a good hard solid strike with her fan-turned-baseball club. The ball whizzed back.

" That was weak. Let me show you how the final kick's really like." Sasuke said, still thinking that this measly game was _waaaay_ above him. In actuality, he was still here just so that he could increase his chances of defeating Itachi. And he was taking dibs on Sakura so that he won't have to go on a date with her anytime soon, until she gets proper revival, and by the time she's discharged, he would have already finished learning his new jutsu.

Sasuke threw the ball up. " Shishi rendan!" The ball sparkled with the aid of water droplets in its full glory for a magnificent moment before zipping towards Chouji. The Akimichi lunged but missed- it slipped out of his hands and plunged into the waters below. Sasuke smirked.

With his Byakugan, Neji swore that he saw the ball hit something pink on its descend into the waters, pushing that _thing_ down even further before floating back up again. And was it just him or does Sasuke look even more self-contented than usual?

" Sparkles are sissy, Sasu-GAY." The unsatisfied Naruto snorted.

" And spirals are worse till no words can describe them, Usuratonkachi." Sasuke replied.

" Oh yeah? I'll show you!" Naruto whipped out a red ball from thin air and started charging a very spirally rasengan with his free hand. Sasuke too had somehow managed to produce another identical red ball from out of nowhere and like Naruto, charged up his incredibly sparkly chidori with his free hand.

The two boys dived for the balls after a brief stare down competition. " RASENGAN!" " CHIDORI!" '_POP_'. Both balls burst and sent the two boys flying backwards. They both got up simultaneously and started cursing. They somehow managed to produce _more_ balls from thin air and started charging up their signature techniques again.

"…This is somehow getting pointless." Shikamaru sighed, yawned, and sauntered off. " …I'm getting to shore."

" Chottomatte! Shikamaru!" Temari cried, and adopting a docile attitude, ran off after Shikamaru. Chouji groggily got up after taking a hit from Sasuke's previous ball and scrambled off to find more coconuts. Kankuro followed, whining something about face-paint, and sprinted to shore.

"…" The remaining players stared after their dispersing teammates.

" Urmm…I think I will get going as well." Ino mumbled sheepishly and dashed off after her teammates. Tenten glanced warily at her distracted sensei and Lee, before sprinting off at full speed, not before tossing a few senbons behind her at every single ball in sight, temporarily pausing Naruto's and Sasuke's match and making them aware of the situation. Kiba scooped Akamaru up and stalked off, still adamantly fuming about the 'stinky dog' incident. Shino (who did not play but was in sea all the same- Gaara was on land.) shrugged and simply sauntered off.

" NOOOOO! COME BAAAAACK!" Gai wailed, his tears splashing out non-stop like a fountain, extremely upset that people are running away from his youthful game. " Lee! Go herd them back!"" Gai barked.

" Hai, Gai-sensei!" And like the obedient sheepdog he was, Lee pounced to the runaway genins one by one.

" Leeee! Gerroff me!" Tenten screamed as she got caught. " Somebody heeeelp! Save your senpaaaai!" Unfortunately for poor Tenten, she must have not been a very noteworthy senpai, for all her kohai out there with her simply ignored her and increase their running speed instead.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Meanwhile, Neji, Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata and Sakura tried to sneak off too, shinobi style. They swathed themselves in Genjutsu- the better ones (*ahem* Sasuke, Neji, Hinata) resembled tiny marine creatures or floating logs, the average ones (*ahem* Sakura) resembled a blob of suspended water, and the not-so-good ones (*ahem* Naruto) resembled a potted cactus- and tiptoed their way out.

Now, Gai was a very…_passionate_ man, but he was also a jonin, and thus, cannot be classified as 'stupid', no matter how much you want him to be. Spotting two pieces of emo looking driftwood, a swimming crab, a blob of water hovering in mid-air, and lastly, a swimming potted cactus, all moving together and heading towards the shore, Gai screamed out to Lee.

" LEEEEE! ALL THEM GENIUSES ARE ESCAPING FROM US TOO! GET THEM AS WELL!" The group of bizarre swimming objects froze at their spots as they heard that. Crap, they were almost at shore too!

Lee screamed back, his eyes alight with the all dreaded 'flames of youth'. " Hai, Gai-sensei! I will capture them immediately!" Amazingly, Lee had already managed to capture and tie up Tenten, Ino, Kankuro, Chouji, Shikamaru and Temari. He was currently chasing Shino and Kiba, who were both running manically for their sanity and sanitary. " Go away! Spare us! We really, really, REALLY don't do water!" They both cried.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Gaara, on the other hand, was waving a red marker flag on the shore.

" Why am I doing this?" He mused to himself, and promptly dropped the flag and stalked off. Oh well.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Lee, with a maniacal gleam in his eyes, was determined to do his sensei proud. " Neji-kun! Sasuke-kun! Naruto-kun! Where are you going?" He asked. Behind him, Gai was cheering for his star student whilst the others stood in shock as one by one, their best students were captured by none other then Gai's fanatical student. ' _They are so going to go through intense Spartan speed training when this mission is over'_ the senseis thought furiously and evilly to themselves.

" LEEEEEE! THAT'S THEM! THE CACTUS! GO FOR THE CACTUS!" Gai yelled while hugging the newly regrouped students.

"Usuratonkachi, why the hell did you take the form of a cactus?!"

" Yeah, isn't cactuses like, supposed to grow in the dessert and not in the middle of the sea?!"

" Shuddap, its not I know myself that I was a cactus! It was supposed to be a bunch of orange seaweed!"

" Mattaku, you're really so dense sometimes. Correction- most of the times."

" Like you're any better. I mean, a blob of water?!"

" …You're all too noisy! And-"

" ARRRGH! GEJIMAYU IS SPEEDING TOWARDS US!"

Seeing a blob of green in the horizon, the last batch of students panicked, released their Genjutsu, and individually sprinted off in different directions. Of course, Sakura was the first one who got caught. Then Lee took off his weights. They fell into the waters with a loud splash- Lee had increased them once again. The remaining few cursed.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Ganbatte, LEEEEEE!" Gai screamed.

" Ganbatte, NEJIIIIIII!" Tenten screamed.

Gai looked at her before bonking her hard on the head. " Support your teammate, Twenty!"

" I AM supporting him, you crazy teacher! Just not the one you want me to! You have more than two students, you know!" Tenten hollered. She paused. " AND MY NAME IS TENTEN, NOT **TWENTY**!"

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" Arrgh!" Lee pounced on Kiba. " Lemme go! Lemme go! Akamaru, bite him!" Kiba cried, struggling against his 'bonds'. Akamaru bit Lee. Lee didn't react whatsoever, simply leaving the puppy there to dangle all by itself.

" Ha! I've finally caught you, Kiba-kun!" Lee cried triumphantly.

"…Nande…" Kiba wailed and sobbed as he was dumped next to the others. His sorrow was softened somewhat when Shino 'joined' him a moment later. Shino gave Kiba a sour glare and a kick. Just for the happy face Kiba made when Shino was 'sat' down. Hinata was caught next.

" Not bad, Hinata. You're the last girl to get caught!" Temari applauded.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. " That means you're slower than a girl two years younger than yourself. That's not something you should be happy about, troublesome woman."

Temari glanced at him. " Why don't you go sleep for the moment, huh?" With a loud bonk, the wind manipulator sniggered at the now unconscious Shikamaru.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Neji ran harder, Byakugan out and activated, acting as his rear mirror. Absolutely NO WAY was he going to get capture by his hideous green teammate. Who flashed him the Nice Guy Pose from behind. *Ping*. Neji was temporarily blinded. He shook his head, trying to get his vision back -_what the hell did that pose do to him?!_- and before you knew it, Lee was running off, back towards Gai, with the poor Hyuuga draped tightly over his shoulders. Neji could be heard cursing his terrible fate the entire length back.

" Unhand me at once! I am Hyuuga! The elite! The all powerful Hyuuga Neji!" He screamed, throwing a tantrum and banging his fists repeatedly on Lee's back. " You beanpole- DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND HUMAN LANGUAGE?!"

" Now with Neji-kun here, team Gai is now complete and united once again!" Lee cried to his teacher, plopped poor Neji down together with the rest, and together with Gai, they gave him their duo Nice Guy Pose. Neji was now sure that he would be blind. For at least a few months.

" Run, Naruto! One of us have to survive, you hear me?" Neji shouted. " Run for your life, you sanity and sight! Run!"

" Wakata!" Naruto turned around, grinned and flashed his own Nice Guy Pose.

Neji was now _very_ certain that he would be blind for the rest of his life. " …And I think I have lost to all three in one go…" The Hyuuga mumbled, and fell backwards in a deep faint.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Lee was sprinting towards the last few remaining students, Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke glanced behind him, caught sight of Naruto, and sped up. Naruto soon fell behind and was caught by Lee pretty quickly.

" Don't you worry, usuratonkachi! I'll be sure to avenge you! In your dreams!" Then Sasuke laughed manically, and sped off to shore.

Naruto, dangling off a returning Lee's back, shook a fist a Sasuke and threw a tantrum. " Damn you Sasuke-teme!!! How DARE you leave your brother-cum-best friend-cum-teammate behind! DAMN YOUUUU!!!"

" The last I remembered, usuratonkachi, was that you were none of the above mentioned!" Sasuke yelled back.

" DAMN YOU AGAIN, TEMEEE!"

Sasuke, weird as it seems, stuck out his tongue at Naruto, who promptly jumped off Lee's back, squishing the green beast in the process, and dashed off after a suddenly childish Sasuke. Naruto soon had Sasuke throttled, and wasn't going anywhere near Lee soon.

" I insist, Naruto-kun! COME BAAAAAAAACK!" Lee yelled.

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

" U…Usura…tonkachi…I CAN'T…B-BREATHE!" Sasuke gasped out. Naruto loosened his grip on Sasuke, threw him to shore, which was only five meters away, and walked there himself.

Lee, who seemed unable to touch land, was loitering nearby, waiting for one of them to get into the water. Neji was heard somewhere in the distance, yelling for both Naruto and Sasuke to free him. Naruto shrugged and turned to Sasuke.

" Teme, what's your problem?!"

" You."

" Damn you."

" Tch. I'd rather not waste my time on a dobe like you."

" NANDATO, TEME!!!"

"…I'm returning to the lodge. Don't follow me."

" Oei, matte, teme! I'm coming too!"

" I told you not to follow me!"

" Well it just so happens that I'm heading to the lodge too, teme."

" …You know that? You're annoying."

" You know what too? You're infuriating to be with as well."

" Then stop following me."

" WHAT?! _You're_ the one following _me_."

" You piss me off, usuratonkachi."

" Same here, teme."

" Usuratonkachi."

" Teme."

" Usuratonkachi."

" Teme."

.

.

.

Sasuke sighed. He was going to be stuck with this…idiot of a teammate? For the rest of the day until the rest miraculously freed themselves or something?! Oh no…

~~oo0oo0oo0oo~~

Authoresses notes: Well, howdya like it? Nest chapter: Romeo and Juliet! Yay! All oneshots however. Who cares...


End file.
